Reflection from Bambi Carkey on the 2010 Mission

Mission of Miracles 2010 has been accomplished! For me it was a banner year in that I was privileged to bring two of our Graduate students, Amy Mayer and Mike Perry with me on the psychiatric team. Both Amy and Mike will be graduating in May as Family Psychiatric/Mental Health Nurse Practitioners. Also I was honored that my colleague Joyce Scarpinato MS,, aPNP/FNP @ the College of Nursing, Upstate Medical University joined us on the medical team. Also, I am so pleased that my son Ben joined the mission for a second time. Two clinical situations stand out in my mind. They both took place in Las Bromas. The 1st was a 64yr, old woman who came in with her developmentally impaired 24 yr. old daughter. The young woman could not speak, but smiled and had a giggle that was infectious. The seriousness of her disability was immediately evident, despite her wonderful smile! Mother expressed concern that as she gets older, she is less able to provide for her daughter, and she worries about what will happen to them both. Through her tears this mother\'s anguish and love was palpable to those of us present. Fortunately, through the efforts of our El Salvadoran Social Worker, Pedro, we were able to access the help of the community education worker who has connections to a service center that is funded by the Jerry Lewis Foundation. She expressed confidence that she could get transportation and services for both daughter and mother. That mother's tears turned from those of despair to those of relief! The daughter hugged all of us with an intensity that revealed the understanding of the heart, if not the mind!
The 2nd story was also about a mother who came in complaining that her children, especially her 11 year old son was being not listening to her & his behavior was becoming out of control. She went on to reveal a history of domestic violence. Mother is also diabetic and when she is frustrated with her son, she tells him that if he doesn't behave, she will get sick and die and he will be left alone to care for his younger siblings. Our work was clearly cut out for us! We talked with Mom about reframing her parenting style, giving her several suggestions including referring both Mom & son for follow -up therapy with Ronald, the El Salvadoran team psychologist. Mom explained that she had tried to get her son to see Ronald, but he refused. As luck would have it, the son walked by and we pulled him into the interview. He sat absolutely stiff and defiant. The look of a child who is terrified on the inside, but has a shield of angry armor with which he tries desperately and unsuccessfully to protect himself from overwhelming emotional pain. No matter what any of us tried to do, we could not get him to budge! Out of desperation (and divine intervention!), I went to get my son Ben. I asked him to come and talk with this young boy about how important it is to be able to talk to his mother, or someone else. Ben did come in, knelt in front of the boy, and through the benefit of our wonderful translator Maria, talked to him about the fears of childhood, the unfairness of having a sick mother, and the need to have an adult to trust and help him manage his fear and anger. There appeared a slight crack in the armor! Ben took him out and got him a coke. Mom seemed relieved. The boy stuck to Ben like velcro for most of the afternoon. Toward the end of the day he approached Ben, gave him a hug and then sought out Ronald, the psychologist, to talk. Intervention happens in some strange, creative and wonderful ways! The El Salvadoran mother felt relieved, and her son helped. This clinician mother felt humbled and very proud of her son! I am honored to be a part of this mission and look forward to Mission of Miracles 2011. Peace! Bambi

Psychiatric Mission, El Savador - Overview

While we were working in El Congo (last day) of our 2009 medical mission, I saw a woman, age 35, who needed psychiatric help. She was in tears for most of our interview. Her story unfolded like this: Her grandmother remarried a man who had a terrible impact on the family. He raped his wife's daughter, the mother of the woman who came to see me. The product of this act of violence was the woman in front of me. At the age of seven, this woman was also raped by the same man, her step grandfather. "He turned into a pig and was frightening like a pig." He was alcoholic. My client had a difficult childhood, obviously, and she married at a young age. She has three children now and continues to live with her husband who is disabled and can't work. He had an accident several years ago and became paraplegic for a while, then began to regain some use of his limbs. Then he was hit by a motorcycle and lost half of one foot. They are penniless and can't pay their bills. Sometimes the church gives them a little aid and they can buy some food. But life looks bleak to her and she wonders why so many ills have befallen her. Her friends come to her and unload their problems. She has a strong faith and attends church regularly.

All looks bleak and hopeless! Why is life so awful? How does one survive such tragedies and misfortunes?
What does one say to someone who has suffered so much and feels so hopeless?

I remember what one of my teachers said to me: "Claire, look for the light!" So this is what I do. Where there is darkness there is also light. The light and love in this woman's life can be found in several places: in her faith and in her ability to bring solace and comfort to others. She gets distracted by thinking about her misfortunes, but if she can be encouraged to experience her own power as a healer and her direct connection to the divine, she will do more than survive! So I directed her attention to the light she shines for others and praised her ability to help her friends in need. And encouraged her to continue her relationship with her church which brings her strength. When we discover and believe in our own power, our ability to love unconditionally, all the darkness can fade into the background and we can begin to have hope.

Shine on, friends!!

Love to all,
Claire


A grandmother & her four year old grandson were referred to psyche because of the grandmothers depressive symptoms(even though she did not have a card). Grandma brought her 4 year old grandson in because of malnutrition. Both Grandma & grandson were dehydrated, malnourished and depressed. Grandma had no means to support them other than picking cans & bottles. They were surviving on one raw tomato daily. In 30 years of practice I have never more clearly looked into the face of depression as with that child! We were able to get the support of the El Salvadoran social worker to get some support for the grandmother . She will be able to work in the community garden & earn three dollars a day, (barely enough to buy food) . That child whispered through his tears to me, "God Bless you."

Bambi